What’s your Money story?

Is there anyone on the planet that doesn’t have a money story? With the current hot topics (as of January 2019) being the government shutdown, retirement savings, and debt reduction, it’s easy for your own money story to build upon these events.

As a business writer and blogger, one of the things I enjoy is reading other blogs. Some of my favorites niches include:

• Entrepreneurs.
• Business owners.
• Lifestyle bloggers.
• Retirement and personal finance (PF) bloggers.

A common denominator is they share their story on how they got to be where they are today, with a huge focus around their money beliefs and habits. As current events heat up around money, my thoughts often turn to my own money story.

The Birth of a Money Mindset

My money story begins with great-Grandma Etzel. Born in 1896, she became a money inspiration to us all, likely without even knowing it. Memories include:

• Composting kitchen waste to reduce trash costs.
• Saving newspaper, jars, and outgrown clothing; helping to bundle packages and stacking them in her attic.
• Sleeping in her loft-like attic with my brothers and cousins, careful not to disturb the stacks of wrapped newspaper or walls of glass jars she kept up there.
• Overhearing conversations around money, “I’ll need to take in extra laundry to pay for that” (plus memories of other peoples’ laundry hanging throughout the house as it dried).
• Her refusal to get a car because she was “perfectly capable” of walking…or getting other family members to run her errands for her.

Even today, my mother still quotes Grandma E’s theories on life:

“Save it! You never know when the world will end and you’ll need those jars, those pennies, etc., to buy food.” (Could be why it was so difficult for her to turn in over $194 of saved pennies before her 2018 move to be closer to family.) Other money memories include:

• Mom’s determination to perform minor surgery in-home to avoid the cost and time-loss of going to the ER (could be why she pursued a degree in nursing. I’m happy to say she outgrew this when I hit my teens.)
• Mom’s extreme couponing and refusal to buy anything unless it came with a discount. When none were available, she would bargain with the hapless checkout person, who would cave in under nervous pressure.

On the other side of the family tree, my Dad grew up poor and, in addition to poor-stories, I remember him having a hissy fit when mom wanted to buy a color TV (I was 6) or when she wanted to buy a telephone that was NOT black (a color telephone cost extra).

Luckily, I was the oldest child and only daughter, so I didn’t have to wear hand-me-downs. However, clearance racks and end-of-season sales were where I accumulated most of my clothing (which, looking back, explains why I was always a season behind in fashion and styles).

And thanks to Dad’s teachings, I purchased generic bank checks because those pretty checks with designs, flowers, and pretty scenery cost extra money. And I did my own taxes because, “No tax expert will value my money as much as I will!” (Dad’s words are tattooed in my brain).

When my own parents would call me “Carlotta Chince” due to my super-frugal nature, I re-examined my money habits and frugality.

Changing the Money Mindset

My views on money changed in the early 2000s. I was working part-time as an exercise physiologist and barely making above minimum wage. While I was raised to trust in the system and advance the corporate ladder, it was difficult to do so. I became frustrated and sought additional means to boost my income. Without knowing it, this was my introduction into alternative streams of income.

Then, of course, the economy went crazy. I divorced. I moved across the country. Then decided this was the time for me to pursue my own opportunities.

With that, I took actions that I know had Grandma Etzel and Dad turning in their graves.

Choosing entrepreneurship over the “reliable” income from an employer.

Hiring an accountant to tackle my personal and business taxes.

Choosing a minimalist lifestyle and eliminating, reducing, and recycling all those things I was taught to hold onto. Yes, this includes great grandma’s possessions that I held onto since her death in 1993.

Investing in myself to build a business. In essence, spending money *gasp* that I had worked hard to save.

Making “unheard of” sacrifices and risks to build something that was uncertain.

Eliminating toxic people, situations, and things in my life that were hindering my personal, professional, and financial growth.

I battled a lot of “you can’t do that”, “this isn’t a wise choice”, “perhaps you should go back to school”, and even, “you’re having a midlife crisis; I’ll be happy to pay for your counseling.”

For A LONG TIME, I battled the money stories I was born to. Sometimes, they still emerge, especially when overcoming them is slow or I get frustrated. Thanks to another PF blogger, who shared his story on being cheap, Lessons I learned About the Value of Time, I’m reminded of my growth since 2009 and the value of time, money, and other lessons learned. These stories are an incredible boost, and one that confirms that we are not alone. Plus, we are living in very different times than our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. My biggest lesson learned is that what may have worked for them is no longer applicable today.

Modify Your Money Mindset

First of all, it ain’t easy. It also isn’t instantaneous! First and foremost, it takes a desire to recognize your money story may be flawed or outdated. Or, it may take a kick in the pants to get you to recognize your quirky money mindset (like my parents’ surprising nickname for me). Once again, through my reading, coaching, and personal processes, these are the processes I implement to modify my money attitudes.

• When something stalls me, I examine why. If it is money based, I dig deep to find its source. Then create a new thought around it and implement it into my life, and through daily meditation and yoga.
• When I get stressed about money, I examine why. As above, I dig deep and create a new thought around it.
• If I’m not pleased about my financial status, I figure out where the weak link is and eliminate it. These require frequent assessments on how I earn, save, spend, and invest. Once again, it is NOT an immediate process!

I’m currently implementing “Brain Gym” exercises into my new money mindset and will have more to say about that in future articles. In the meantime, it’s an eye-opening and fascinating exercise to get deep into your own mind to discover where your beliefs come from. Keep yourself wide open to see where you were with your money stories and to discover the possibility of where you can be.

p.s. I still garden, can, and preserve and thank my grandmother and father for introducing these values in my life. I’m pleased to add that my granddaughter enjoys these activities with me.

What money habits did you adopt from your family? How does this positively or negatively affect your life today?

Kristen Edens

Photos courtesy of Judy Etzel King, family genealogist